


Promise me (no promises)

by mitsuki_yuriko



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Erza needs a hug, F/M, Hurt No Comfort, I'm Sorry, Mentioned Fairy Tail ensemble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:14:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22630840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mitsuki_yuriko/pseuds/mitsuki_yuriko
Summary: Maybe I'm scared because you mean more to me than any other person.You are everything I think about, everything I love, and everything I want.But what do you do when that person is torn away from you?
Relationships: Jellal Fernandes/Erza Scarlet
Kudos: 27





	Promise me (no promises)

**Author's Note:**

> Erza and Jellal deserve all the happiness in the world. 
> 
> As usual, please leave a comment and kudo on your way out if you enjoyed this fic, or want to cry together about it :')

Erza was lost.

She knew exactly where she was, and yet she was lost, lost in the clamour and noise of people in the Fairy Tail guild’s mess hall.

Clusters of people mingled in the space, talking and drinking and eating, occasionally showing off a new magic technique or launching into an animated story about their latest quest.

Normally, Erza liked to sit in the hall, and let the cacophony of excited chatter, the crash of a drunken brawl and the general noise and _chaos_ wash over her. It was what she grew up with. It was familiar and warm. It was comforting.

But not today.

Today it was stifling. Trying to see through the crush of bodies and flying furniture made her anxious, and when she tried to raise her voice it was drowned out by the noise. Normally she would put her foot down and verbally or physically remind them of their place, but today a tightness in her chest and sense of urgency overtook her.

She was searching for something. Something important.

Her chest felt hollow, empty, like a vital piece of her very _soul_ was missing, but she could not remember what it was that once filled that space. It was like an icy winter had settled into her body, chilling her to the bone, making her forget what warmth and life ever felt like. Her limbs felt like molten lead, heavy and sluggish, and every action took enormous effort. Her eyes roamed across the room, flicking between faces and trying to discern what it was that was fundamentally _missing._

Mirajane was serving at the bar, calmly and elegantly as she laughed at the guild members’ many eccentricities. Cana sat at the opposite end of the bar, downing barrels of beer in a drinking contest against some poor soul who had long ago collapsed in a drunken stupor. Lucy and Levy were discussing their latest literary works, and the Thunder Legion were off being their usual dignified selves. Off to the side, Natsu and Gray were fighting about something or another again, tables and chairs being flung across the hall in addition to fireballs and ice shards, with Wendy trying to placate them while Juvia watched on with hearts in her eyes. The other guild members either cheering them on enthusiastically, adding metaphorical fuel to the fire, or watched on disinterestedly.

It was just another day at the guild.

But why did she feel so uneasy?

Erza felt like she was reaching for something that was _just_ out of reach, dangling _just_ a hairsbreath from her outstretched fingertips. Every atom of her being screamed for her to take it, grasp it, to snatch it and hold it close so it couldn’t ever be taken away again.

And every time she felt like she finally found it, finally, finally reached it – a name on the tip of her tongue, a shadow of a memory crossing her mind – it would slip out of her grasp once more, dance at the edge of her thoughts before disappearing, leaving her wondering what exactly it was that she was so desperately searching for.

She had forgotten something. Something important.

But what scared her, what really shook her to the core, was the way her heart was trying to remember something her mind could not, with such an intensity and ferocity that it left her breathless. She could feel her heart beating faster, louder, until it thundered in her ears and her stomach twisted and her vision started to swim, her breaths coming in short puffs as her mind tried to make sense of something she did not – could not – understand.

A flash of colour caught her eye. Lighter than the sapphire ocean but darker than the petals of forget-me-nots, stronger than the cobalt of Ulysses butterflies but brighter than the summertime azure sky, a well-loved and familiar shade of blue that Erza’s hands had traced gently so many times.

She knew that colour. It was _his_ colour.

It was the warm hands that enveloped her cold ones on a winter day; it was the gentle caresses of her hair as he held her through the nightmares; it was the strong arms that carried her up and down stairs when she hurt her knee; it was the soft, gentle forehead kisses when he thought she was asleep; it was the cheeky smile, the charming grin that promised of adventure; it was the steely determination in his eyes and the quiet focus against the enemy.

“Jellal!”

Erza started towards him, calling out. But her voice was lost in the noise of the guild, drowned out as Jellal’s figure grew smaller, disappearing into the crowd.

Erza leapt to her feet and struggled after him, knocking and bumping into people in her haste to reach. She tried to push past the people in her way, but her speed was as if she were running underwater, each movement slowed down and listless. Each time she pushed past one faceless person another three appeared in her way, increasing in number and crowding between them, pushing Jellal further away from her.

“Jellal!” she shouted again, desperately. Panic coloured her voice as she watched on helplessly as his figure disappear in the crowd of people. He was so _close,_ she couldn’t let him leave her again- “Jellal!!”

“Erza.”

She whirled around, the noise of the guild suddenly melting away because Jellal was here, he was right here in front of her and he wasn’t leaving her and-

Erza threw herself at Jellal with a muffled sob. Jellal’s arms instinctively wrapped around her, holding her close as she buried her face into the man’s shoulder.

All at once she felt at home. His arms tight around her waist, strong and sturdy and secure, the soft snuffle of his breath against her neck, the way he gently smoothed her hair, the way her body fits perfectly against his in their warm embrace - she never felt more relaxed and at ease than when he was holding her. The entire world shrunk to just the two of them, all her worries and anxieties washed away by his mere presence.

Only in front of him, could she allow herself to indulge in a moment of weakness. Because she knew for certain that even if she were to shatter into a million broken glass fragments, he would carefully, gently, gather up all the jagged crystal pieces and lacquer them with love and gold and all the good things in the universe to put her back together.

“Jellal…”

“What’s wrong, Erza?”

Erza shook her head. She didn’t know why she was so desperate. It was worse than the time he was separated from her, eons ago when they were all slaves. It was worse than the time he was arrested by the Magic Knights, after being under Zeref’s control and faced an uncertain future.

But Erza quickly pushed the thoughts away. She didn’t want to dwell on those nightmarish memories, not when Jellal was right here in front of her.

“Are you alright?” Jellal asked, concern lining every timbre of his voice.

A slightly hysterical laugh bubbled out of her throat. She drew back slightly and reached up to smooth the furrow in his brow. His dark eyes followed her every movement, still scrunched up in worry, and Erza’s heart clenched with affection.

“I thought I’d lost you,” she murmured quietly, squeezing him tighter.

Jellal made a soft sound – concerned, understanding.

“I would never leave you,” he said firmly, gently, pressing a kiss to her forehead, to her cheek, to the tip of her nose, teasing at the corner of her mouth.

Erza smiled back, the knot in her chest loosening.

There was nothing to worry about. Because Jellal was here.

She pulled Jellal down, closer to her, bumping their foreheads together so she could stare unobstructed into his eyes.

“Promise?” she whispered against Jellal’s lips.

“Promise,” Jellal murmured back, and sealed it with a kiss, a soft press of lips that quickly deepened. Erza involuntarily made a low, needy sound, pulling Jellal in closer. She’d never felt so loved, so safe, so complete, so –

Alone.

She jerked awake with an anguished gasp, chest heaving for air.

“Jellal-“

She blindly reached out beside her, searching for his warmth and comfort and assurances that _everything will be okay –_

But her scrabbling hands only met cold, empty sheets.

For a moment Erza is confused, the lingering comfort of her dream intertangled with reality.

_Jellal._

_You were right here._

_Where did you go?_

But then reality sinks in, and as the truth remerges the sobs wrenched out of her escalate into cries.

Erza threw herself off the bed, running from one dark and silent room to the next, her anguished, animalistic howls gaining intensity as the last wisps of her sweet dream vanished and the cold empty reality seeps in.

Erza fell to her knees in the middle of the room and curled into a tight ball on her side, wrapping her arms around herself, her keening cries shaking her whole body.

She remembered now.

Jellal is gone, and she is alone.

Each time she remembered was like the first, bringing a fresh wave of pain and a dose of terrible loneliness to her life.

 _He’s dead,_ Erza reminded herself roughly, ignoring the tears that crept into her eyes against her will.

She knew that the nightmares still haunted her because part of her still refuses to believe it. She could not bring her heart to believe it, and still wanted to hope against hope that he was still alive out there, somewhere in the big world, under the same sky, laughing and smiling and going on adventures like they used to dream about.

She knew that she was just torturing herself with these memories, that he will never again stand next to her to face an enemy or have her back or hold her hand gently or softly stroke her hair or smile as she ranted to him or hold her in his warm embrace –

“But he _promised,”_ Erza whispered to herself, low, broken, and allowed the waves of her tears wash over her.

At four am in the morning, when not even a soul was awake, Erza Scarlett lay on the carpeted floor of her room and cried.

She cried like a child, sobbed and wept like never before, unresisting and inconsolable.

She cried for Jellal, for their childhood together, for her years of trepidation and yearning, for the short time they had reunited as adults, for the hope of a bright future that could have been but was now snatched out of her grasp.

_But he had promised her._

_He promised._


End file.
